From Ripples to Tidal Waves…
Posted by Terry on June 9, 2008
“I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be; the waves that plunged along the shore said only: “Dreamer, dream no more!” (George William Curtis)
I spoke with a friend this weekend that is going through a rough time. She is having those nagging feelings of regret you feel when you take an inventory of your life. You know the ones I mean. We all get them from time to time. Regret for not being in the place where she thought she should be by now in her life. Regret for disappointing a loved one. Regret for not realizing the dreams and hopes that she both wishes for and deserves. I tried to console her simply by being a friend and listening. I even offered some simple words of wisdom (or at least support). However, I don’t know if any of that ever really helps. What is there to say, really, when someone you love is down in the dumps?
That conversation got me to do some thinking. How do we get ourselves so deep into situations that make us feel like we’d have to swim against the tide to get back to shore? It is obvious that small actions have a ripple effect. Take new relationships, for example. One conversation leads to another. Simply speaking, isn’t that how friendships are born? Take that to the next level now. A conversation can lead to a meeting. A few meetings can lead to a relationship. That relationship might even lead to love. You may not have thought at that very first conversation that “love” would be the outcome, but it could be. Would you then blame yourself for being in love later on down the line? Of course not! I suppose the problem doesn’t really lay in the end-result of a situation. It’s more the individual acts that add up to a big problem. However, one conversation (or… insert miscellaneous other situations here) would never flash warning signs for a future problem.
I guess what I’m really getting at is that even unconscious decisions have a tendency to accumulate. We all need to be more self-aware of our lives and our actions. Perhaps we should all take more time to take stock of our lives regularly and not go on living so blindly. I know, I for one, am guilty of this ALL the time. When life is running smoothly, I tend to go with the flow, even if it’s the wrong flow. I don’t like to make waves (or ripples even). Why can’t we see that initiating a few small waves on our own can help us avoid a tidal wave of problems later?
Tirzah said
I often wonder the same thing about myself…I tend to grasp onto relationships a little harder than other people. I’m guess that my neediness and my willingness to deal with more than I need to has led me astray a couple of times. My heart gets too involved and I get sucked in…
I feel like I can’t help it, but I know that something in me needs to change. I just wish I knew exactly what it is that allows me to justify my actions until it’s too late.
I don’t get it….I hate disappointing my loved ones, but I really hate disappointing myself.
Terry said
Sometimes I think I let things go too far specifically because eventually it will HAVE to blow up in my face. Then I’ll have to deal with whatever the issue is, but only because someone else initiates the subject. This way, if it spirals out of control, it’s not my fault. (Kind of)
Tirzah said
That happened once for me. It was not a good blow up at all but in the end it was good that it happened. It gave each of us involved a different realization!
Shar said
*sigh* one can go into this deep topic of conversation forever, when we do think about it ..ourlives and how we’ve lived it at times it does not make any sense, but then again does life make sense? we know it does not come with a manual book, or a crystal ball. I can sum it up to we are who we are and most of the times we give people the benefit of the doubt, we trust more than we should trust, we love more than we get back in return, in the end we have to learn from our own mistakes and try to make right of what we’ve made wrong. Umm does that make sense? lol i feel the same way as you do after writing something and trying to make sense of it all. oh well, at least when it comes down to it we always have each other!
Terry said
We do at that, my friend.
And, you’re right. We are who we are and, we can only move forward from where we are now. No use looking back and getting all stupid about it. (HAHA Look who’s talking now!) I wanted to give you a little time to let things “settle”. Call when you’re ready to talk some more. I’m concerned.