“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie
When did I become a person who is SO afraid of failure? How did I loose the will to try things? It doesn’t really matter what it is, I cop out in one way or another because I’m nervous and unsure of myself. Many months ago, I researched and found a local amateur photography group and was extremely excited at the prospect of learning to use the Canon Rebel XTi that my husband gave me. Have I gone to even one meeting yet? No! Now the summer is here and there are no meetings for the next few months. That was just one example; I could name probably about a hundred more. The unknown is not the only thing that paralyzes me to the point of isolation. Sometimes, I get the same terrified feeling when I think about speaking to a friend or calling a member of the family. I feel like I won’t have a thing to say that they will want to hear or talk about. What a ridiculous notion. These are the people I love and respect, for crying out-loud. As far as I know, they feel the same about me as well! I realize too that this is not something that I’ve manufactured all by myself. This type of behavioral isolation runs in my Dad’s family to a degree. In many ways, I guess I’m like him. He’s a people person, but only when he’s got some liquid courage behind him. Otherwise, he will hole himself up and not want be bothered by the outside world. Perhaps that is just his way of coping with his insecurities. Luckily, I rarely go the liquid courage route. That’s not my style. As for me, I need to re-learn to motivate myself in such a way that I really don’t care what happens when I try things. I need to care more about trying than succeeding in tasks. I need to participate actively in life again, and I don’t know where to begin any more.
I’ve been thinking about all this a lot lately. While some of these fears have been with me a long time, they have increased in intensity and multiplied themselves after my bout with cancer. I think I’ve concluded that I’m afraid to be happy again. Doing things, even the smallest most unimaginative things will mean I’m living. Once I live, do, and feel, I will become that much closer to having my dreams crushed all over again. That terrifies me in a way that I can’t begin to explain. All I know is that I cannot continue on this way. What is the purpose in being a cancer survivor, if I’m not living? I suppose that is an answer all unto itself!
I feel that way about losing weight. It’s something that I WANT to do and I NEED to do, but instead of going for it I sit back and think about how hard it’s gonna be and wonder if I’ll ever get to my goal. Once I’m there and I still gonna look like crap? The list just goes on and on. We’re never gonna know what we’re capable of unless we TRY. I wish you were closer, I think we could help each other out in a lot of areas in life.
I love you, I hope you realize that!
Yes, my Tizzalicious Friend, I wish we were much closer to each other too. However, perhaps we can virtually be one anothers cheering section. What do you think? Besides, I always wanted to be a cheerleader, AND you-know-who would love to come home from work and find me in one of those uniforms!
lol The weight loss thing is definately one of MY “issues” as well. Although I like who I am, I would like to improve upon myself. A little less of me, would only prove to make me more out-going and active. That would be a good thing, I’m sure.
Love to you too!
I thought I would drop in on the issues of desire, weight loss and inaction. In my experience that fear takes over in every aspect and so many people judge that as the old adage of false evidence that appears real. My suggestion is to replace that with focused energy achieves results. The way to put real focused energy into all of these issues is to eliminate the need to do it with will power.
Will power usually just does not stand up to the test of time or the burning desire that is opposite to your desired end result.
Take the burning desire and turn it into a burning desire for the end result. Replace the “will power” with a “why”. A why is not because you need it or want it but because you want to live longer, be the person you dream of, have the feelings you dream of and do the things you dream of. Develop your why, take the action to allow the burning desire to manifest and you will be on your way.
Hello Dream Liver, welcome and thank you for taking a moment to chime in on our discussion. Your words are very thought provoking. If I do say so, they sound reminiscent of the quote I used at the beginning of this post. I know that when I “try” I am encouraged by the rewards of just trying. If trying results in something positive, then it’s all the better. It is in my inactivity, that I harbor self doubt. To that end, I have been trying to push myself – not to reach a far off goal, but more to just do the next thing – more often. Hopefully, that will bring the rewards that I’m looking to find.
Please, stop by again!